I'm waiting and praying

Today is 25th jan 2015 and i'm waiting for our class xii result to be out soon by this last week of jan probably. I'm neither very afraid nor very curious  about my result because I know how my exam went. i'm only waiting to see the marks no matter how much did i scoured. I'm not at all happy with my exam. It is so sad that a maths student spoiling his only back bone maths paper and had a little expectation with the english ll as I had already spoiled my english l, which was also unfortunately leaked in the history of BHSEC for the first time that also in our batch, how unfortunate batch are we! and we unfortunate students of Bajo hss knew only when we are out of the exam hall. 

There is no charm in this years class xii's result, so sad to know. And i'm personally very angry with the one who did this for english paper which is one of the most interesting  and easy subjects, and i know it's not favourable to say that english is a easy subject as it's a very vast subject but for a high school level in Bhutan and for a science student english is considered as a interesting and easy subject because we have to read only few pages for the exam and we are done if we have a strong english understanding power, then english seem to be just like a short and sweet fascinating short story. I was literally shocked and unhappy when i heard that english paper was leaked and our english paper ii will not be assist and that weekly changing decision  of BHSEC. I even had a night mare on this topic where we are to do re-exam for all the subjects and our timetable was out and when i analysed myself, there was nothing in my brain. it really was a night mare.

About mathematics which i considered as one of my favourite subjects since my primary schooling would betrayed me like this in my lives one of the most important exam. i don't know how it happened but i could attempt only of 80 points including my worst MCQ part. Even after a thorough practice i could even see the question in the test which i didn't know from which chapter was it, it was like general question for me. I don't know whether i should blame to my maths teacher for this or myself,  I personally and we all the maths student are not very happy with our our maths teacher,one should never do like that with the innocents life. He hardly finished the syllabus but i don't want to blame any-other for my failure and embarrass myself.  And some questions which appeared to be easy Q, even for that the answer never came unfortunately and it was because of that i didn't finish my paper,l could have done en ki min ki and rushed to Sec B but unfortunately that too didn't happened either. There is a saying in Lhotsham(Nepali) that says, in the most unfortunate day even the ox gives birth and same kind of thing happened with me that day. The worst day of life I should say where I merely went mad and almost spoil my Chemistry paper. I was so mad that I even forgot about my Dzo ll paper ( It's a long story again. i'll share it in my laters post ).

Almost all of paths are  blocked because of this single sub and all of dreams are crushed and i hardly have a hope of qualifying for any colleges but even if I didn't make it up, I"m not going to give up in my half way like this. I'll get up some how and start my journey again.To be true, since I was considered as a one of the bright students in my colony since my childhood and all of my neighbours too considers that way, it'll be so embarrassing on my part if I didn't make it up to them especially my mom,I may not be able to face her and she to her colleagues who all would questioned her all the time about me. I'm not at all prepared for that scene but if it's to happen then who can prevent that form happening. I only wish that, no matter how is my marks, I don't want out land up at home.  

                                                            D.K Thulung Rai