Saturday, 28 February 2015 2 comments

Lost in the dilemma

Being in the dilemma since a long time, smiles on the face but mind lost in the dark space. Trying hard to cope up with the scenario around and the situation from which I’m wishing to escape at the fastest way possible. Trying to think less as possible to bring my mind to the track and keep it in the most peaceful way possible. Trying to avoid the regrets and trying find a new way for me to step my feet safely knowing that there is no wise in regret. Waiting for the time to pass quickly and let me know where I should be standing.

My mind is hardly walking along with my body and my speech. I can feel the mass darkness in-front of me and can only see a tiny spot of light which may show me the right way. I have a great fair of losing my way in that darkness but my tiny hope is helping me to aggregate my minds to think in a positive way. At the back of head knowing that falling and waking up is the way of life helps me in consulting my lost minds. The more I think the more my mind suffers the hassle and bustle. Being experiencing such dilemma for the first time and having tough time to digests the truth.

Every time thinking of erasing my foot prints and walk a new path but it is not easy as I think. With my positive thoughts and right actions I’m acknowledging my failure and taking it as a lifelong lesson which my teacher would never be able explain me. I can hear many mouths talking near my ears, everyone with a different thoughts but I’m going to follow my faith and destiny. I believe that whatever I have done till the date has been written in my faith and wherever I may land, it possibly might have been written to be happened. If I ever try to blame anyone for my failure it would be my own embarrassment. There is no concrete solution coming into mind and can see only the obstacles surrounding me. If I subdue one of the obstacles with a great effort there would be another waiting for my arrival.

 I have never had been in such condition ever and never thought of going through such scenes. What is happening with me? But no matter what I’m not going to stop here in the middle of my journey. I know I have to do a lot to recover my ugly foot prints but I’m going to mend it for sure no matter how. That, one scan can’t define my true ability so easily. And no one can stop me from growing up again, my faith may have left me for once but I believe it will not happen always. With this believe I have only tiny hope which may give me the hand to wake up again. I have to belief in my faith and walk along with it. Knowing that the whole world is only standing on the hope, I’m not going to stop hopping and just going to wait and watch.


                                                                                            
                                                            D.K Thulung Rai
Thursday, 26 February 2015 0 comments

Trying to hide behind my own Shadow

After a long time, had a fun in walking to high uphill lonely house where their lives only an old orphan man. The old man is quite related to our house owner. Today morning the house owner asked me to go along with him to the place as his friend and I agreed him as I go for walk every morning. The place is just three and half km upward way from our resident and known as Jasaykha(wangdue). Had a good fun after reaching there, doing the work of blacksmith and making a knife with a red hot iron and changing it into the desired shape was tough job but was a good fun as we were doing for first time. I was the man to hit the red hot iron with a 2.5 pounds hammer taking the risk to hit straight on the point and not on the colleague hands. There was a high risk that the piece of red hot iron would hit our legs after it’s detach form the main desired tools.











Again I was the given the work of cooking lunch unfortunately that also on the fire. It was really a tough job for me as there was nothing to cook as a curry in that old man’s house. I cooked rice first and tried to escape from cooking the curry but could not. There was nothing inside his dark kitchen not even a single piece of vegetable. I could see only a container of salt and few pots. I couldn’t even find the oil around but later the old man was bringing the oil from another room which was supposed to in the kitchen(he lives alone but has two kitchens).











There were no things in their specific position and where they should be. Some utensils were lying in his sitting room some in his bed room and very few in his main kitchen. They let me to cook but what should I be cooking, later I found there was nothing but only the spring onions in his gardens and few dry chillies. So I decided to cook them anyways but suddenly the old was bringing two eggs on his hands fortunately which made me quite happy. I cooked them and it turned out to be quite special and testy. It was quite tough for me to cook on the fire with a fair that my rice would get burn from the bottom and that was the only fair I had in my mind but it too turned out good. So, I think now I can cook quite well on the fire too. We learn that way only I believe. Though it was a tough job for me but had a fun after a long time and I enjoyed cooking actually. In that way I could divert my mind away from the dilemma that I’m suffering through and I could keep my minds in peace for a while at least. So, I all have were a good memories.


                                                                                          
                                                                 D.K Thulung Rai

 Note: This is to all my readers. The articles in my blogs are just my random        thoughts and I may have made lots of   grammatical errors and other sentence structures, for that I would like to apologies to you all. You all can kindly make comments on the errors for my necessary improvements, it would be acknowledged. Thank you

Monday, 23 February 2015 0 comments

The Mystery-II

We came down to the main road and waited for a taxi for a long hours but found none and suddenly a truck stopped for us while we were wondering who could be that but later we found out that he was our far cousin brother who too was driving to wangdue fortunately. Mom and I quickly got into the truck and reached a place called walk-lay-tar and the truck stopped in-front of small hotel there for a lunch.

 We had a packed lunch but we too went inside to give him company. He ordered the rice there and my mom opened a packed lunch for two of us. There comes a big surprise for me, a girl came towards us carrying a plate of rice on her hand. She happened to be that girl how shocking? At one glance I identified her and I guess she too recognized me but could not look at her directly and share some words though I desired. I hardly could finish my meal and quickly came out of there and got into the truck. Mom and the driver came following me and later I found that she was asking about me to my mom. That was actually the last and final met with her till the date. Once I think I saw her on the road side below the PHPA project while I was doing my temporary job there but I’m not sure if that was really her.

Later I heard that she joined Gaselo high school where she didn’t qualify for higher studies in govt. school after passing out from the previous pry school in Tsirang but never got to see her. But in deep I had a strong believe that one fine day I would see her. During last Jan when I went to Thimphu at my cousin sister’s house, she was browsing her facebook profile when I saw the girls name on her new feeds. I asked her, is that the girl who used to stay in the hotel in walk-ley-tar and she responded yes and she said that she too stays in the capital. I didn’t share her anything nor did she bother to know why I asked her that question. I was quite happy to hear that and was curious to see her profile as soon as possible but I didn’t do that immediately.

Few days before, I suddenly remembered to see her profile while I was browsing through my profile and quickly typed her initial name and there she was but I hardly could recognize her. Starting from her name there were lots of changes in her looks height and all. I could not recognize her at all in many of her pictures no matter how much I tried to recollect her picture in my brain and no matter from whichever angle I tried to see, hardly could recognize her in very few pictures which could be her old picture. And guess what she is the one and only mate I found and got to see from all the others friends from my pry schooling.

Thought of sending her a friend request and chat with her about a lot and see if she could recognize me or not but couldn’t do that too as I want to keep it as a mystery forever. If we are to meet one day in our faith, we’ll surely meet no matter where and how but if not, this would be the end of her. No matter however I try but I’ll never be able to forget her in my entire life because the question “who was your first crush” will be always there and my true answer would none other than her. This was the story which ended before starting actually so nothing serious.

                                                                                                               


                                                                        
                                                                D.K Thulung Rai
Thursday, 19 February 2015 5 comments

The Mystery

Almost ten years back in a remote primary school when I was studying in the second standard, a girl who used to come to the school from a far village opposite to my house happened to be my classmate. We were in the same class for almost three years but I had never noticed her until the last year of our departure. I never knew when I started liking her and when my feelings for her start germinating but when I realize myself I found myself having crush on her. For me she was the most beautiful and cute girl in the class and in the entire school.

In the ten years of distance, I still remember her face very clearly and her unique voice which I wonder is still same or might have changed but no wonder that I never thought of expressing my feelings for her not even in the dream. I don’t know why? May be I was afraid of losing her forever. For me if she was around me and making me happy with her smile and if she could talk to me without any hesitation and I too could do the same thing but if I have had failed in digesting my feelings for her and expressed to her, there was a very high chance that I would have lost her forever, even when she was around me.

I cannot remember how my grate two session went and when did I see  her in the school for the last time since I had no idea that, that year 2004 would be my last year in that school with her. The long winter break divided us and I came to my mother’s home which was almost 15 miles away from the school. I used to stay at my far cousin uncle’s home which was just a half mile away from the school. That was the time when I realized myself how tough is to stay at others house and study. I would never recommend keeping ones child at others house and let them study no matter how close they are. It’s never like one’s own house and parents. A child suffers a lot besides the parents eyes.

Back to my home and after a long break mom told that she is going to take me with her to wangdue due to some circumstances and accommodation problems, for my further studies as her job was in wangdue and more over she was not comfortable with leaving me at others house. I was happy on hearing that news but worried in deep inside. The pain of leaving the lovely village and coming to urban area was a new thing for me. In that worries I lost her for some time. Finally the break ended and mom came to pick me up with her from wangdue. Before actually coming to wangdue, I wonder if had ever heard of it’s the name also.


When we reached at wangdue a totally new place for me, I could feel the intense blow of wind as soon as I stepped down from the taxi. Then I joined in wangdue LSS in 3rd standard in 2005 with quite difficulty and that first year was my toughest school life after class PP. Our life was quite tough that time. Many a times I saw her in my dreams which shows that I still couldn’t forget her. I heard that she is continuing her studies in that school only. The year ended somehow, mom and me; we went to our village for the vacation. Again after a month we were to come back. Our village was a two and half hours walk from the main high way(burichu-doban) to Damphu. To be cont...



                                                                 
                                                             D.K Thulung Rai
Monday, 16 February 2015 0 comments

The first day of schooling

There are only two enthusiastic days in the students life, first one is the very first day of the school and second is the day of last exam and today was one of it for them. We as a student usually feel quite excited to go back to the school after almost two months winter break with   new uniforms, new upgraded classrooms, new class teachers and meeting old friends after a long break. The curiosity to know who came to one’s class as a new-comer, whether he/she is beautiful/smart and to know their names and previous school, to become happy if that beautiful/smart guy happened to be one’s classmate. Many boys usually tend to try the new comer girls to make his girlfriend before other could try her and same with girlsJ, I guess.

Going back to one’s school after a long break and with the thought of upgraded standard and watching new classroom’s upgraded standard sign board at the top of door and feeling proud of oneself, usually feels really awesome. Going back to see the old classrooms with friends and recollecting about one’s old seats, unforgettable moments that happened in that classroom the year before and giggling on that. The mass gathering at the assembly ground and listening to principal’s welcome speech. Going to new SUPW area and working with friends and new class teachers commanding us, some with smiles and some with seriousness. And if there is any beautiful/smart new comer friend, keeping frequent sight on them escaping from their noticeJ. Cleaning the new classroom and making ready for the new years’ lessons. Some cheaters trying to escape from their works and letting only their friends to work even for them. The cultural items preparation for the His Majesty’s birth day and some trying to escape from taking part in it. Some dancing under compulsion without knowing even ‘d’ of dance Jand searching for the ways to escape. And after few hours principal sir commanding us to go back home safely.

So everything during the first day of schooling is quite interesting and more with the day of last exam where every students feels relieved after a long term and start planning the programmes for the break, saying goodbye to all the close friends and wishing them to take care always not knowing whether they will be able to meet next year again or not. Some even forget to write their last exam properly with the feelings of excitement which is not recommended. Today I’m missing all those beautiful moments and wishing good luck for myself for the tough life ahead.



                                                                                               
                                                               D.K Thulung Rai
Sunday, 15 February 2015 0 comments

My great success in losing my weight

This story is the continuation of my last post of Jan ‘I suddenly became health conscious’. I was really in doubt that my hard work would go in vain but deep inside I was thinking that if I managed to lose even a single pound, I would continue with my daily routine which were a simple diet, light exercise at the evening, morning walk and evening jogging. And after a month hard work it worked actually, when I weighed myself yesterday, I saw that I have lost 17 pounds 64 kg from 72 in a single month and that was a great outcome. I’m very happy with my result and now my mission is to reach 60 within these 15 days, let’s see if I can rally manage that but I believe I can and that determination is important for me. I didn’t adapt any proper diet which is quite expensive these days nor did I join any professional gym session. It all was actually my own way of losing weight with full determination. I had no idea if it would even work as I started with the jogging session lately. At the initial I was only doing with the simple diet for which I started eating quite less than my actual appetite with less amount of oil and salt that’s all.

I believe if you want to do anything and if have the true determination; you can achieve anything in your own way. If you think that you are over healthy and want to lose extra weight than you don’t have to worry much about it, just built a strong determination to achieve that you want and go for it. For losing weight you really don’t have to adapt a proper or an expensive diet that people usually do these days nor do you have to join the professional gym session, working out with heavy loads which will have side effects at the latter old ages. You just eat the normal foods that you cook at your home every day but with control oil and salt because oil is the main reason of gaining weight. We Bhutanese usually tends to have lots of oil in the curry and some people prefer even gravy as oil which is really bad for our good health. You can compromise little with the salt but not with the oil. Try to control eating oily foods even if it’s your favorite and just try to stay attached with your mission that’s to lose weight. Do some light exercise if you can in the morning or evening whenever you prefer, like yoga or can be simply walk. Do some jogging if you are energetic enough, play skips if you can it will help you a lot.


These were the simple tips which I adopted and if you want you can also try out, it really works. In this modern generation staying healthy has become one of the most important parts of our life. We’ve to move with the generation and we can definitely do these. Some have natural slim and tall figure or solid body, they are got gifted and nothing to be proud of. Never become sad or angry when some people calls u as fat thin or short, just asked them what did they really do to become tall and solid? If they really had put some hard works to reached that figure then we can appreciate them but if it’s natural then they don’t have any reason to be proud of I believe. Just have faith in yourself and like the way whatever you are, that will give you the feeling of happiness forever. If your friends are tall and you too desired to become like them than I think it’s not possible and that would contribute to yourself in becoming sad ultimately. So always be happy in your own way and don’t always look at others because we are different, we can’t be them and they can never be us.



                                                                 D.K Thulung Rai
Saturday, 14 February 2015 2 comments

It was like an ice on the wound-II

And there we were at Changkha(Dagana) after a long journey from wangdue. Changkha village was about 15 miles rough road from Dagana high way. We were travelling at the back of DCM and with tiredness I felt asleep and when I opened my eyes at the junction called Potokha just below Changkha were our vehicle stopped for a while for the refreshment. I hardly could recognize myself and my other friends there because starting from our head to toe we were fully covered by the dust from the rough road. I tried quickly to wave them out but it hardly worked. I thought of washing but thinking that there was still way to reach our destiny I went as I was cleaning only my face.

tika session at the brides uncle's home
grooms & brides with NC of Dagana
Finally we reached at the top of the valley called Changkha but I didn’t know why our vehicles stopped there for a while and was thinking, that would be our destiny but confused too because I couldn’t see any people around the brides house, how is that possible? While I was in deep thought, kongpi(the main leader) came down saying, “get down all we have to go there” but many didn’t listened to his command but I got down quickly to find out what was happening there actually. But didn’t get any hint and could see only the tika ceremony there in-front of the house(it was brides uncles home actually) but I latter I found that it’s called bato-chekwa(to restrict the way for a while, was like entry pass for us to the brides home). After that we continued our journey again while I was still wondering where might be the brides’ home actually and after a mile travel, again the cars stopped but I couldn’t see any houses around there. But then they started to take out the things from the cars and start steeping downwards where we had to walk for around 15 mins to reach the actual destiny which made me feel as if I was walking to my village.

birdes with their sis in-laws
gathering at the brides home











After a long wonder there we were, the brides’ home was at the bottom of the valley and I could see many people watching us up with curiosity and happiness on their face. At the main gate we were to take rest for a while, where there was again a tika ceremony form the brides’ parents while few gentle came to us with a pot full of jar(local alcohol) and cups and a big smiles on their faces as few of them happened to be our friends from wangdue too. I thought of denying them once as I don’t drink usually but the situation there didn’t allow me to deny their welcome jar, so I quickly seeped few cups before my sisters and brothers could noticed meJ , so that I can withstand the cold night there at the unknown place but latter I found out that they saw me drinking actually, so embarrassingL. After the tika ceremony we were asked to go the main kitchen directly as all the guests were waiting for our(janti’s) arrival form the morning itself without having even breakfast(it’s a custom).

We have had lunner with all the other guests there and came back to the small camp in-front of the house which were especially meant for janti(people from the grooms’ side-us). I could see people dancing in two different places, one group from the tape and other group from the local music system and some people walking from the middle without any proper coordination which made us feel really bore. Few steps behind there was a camp fire again and some guests were engaged there too. I also enjoyed the warmth frequently as we(with grooms and brides) had been waiting outside for a long time in the cold night and I didn’t know what was going inside the house actually which made grooms and brides(there were two grooms and two brides) to wait outside for so long till the late night(10 or 11 pm). We were quite frustrated with the brides’ parents. It was fine for us(janti) but they could have called the grooms and brides inside as soon as possible as they were the king and queen for the day. We didn’t know what really wrong was going inside though we reached at the given time.

        grooms & their sisters
the way back to own home











While I was in deep thought I didn’t know when they called them inside or not. People were dancing in-front of us with full mood and without any proper steps(same steps for all kinds of songs but they were in full joy) which made us feel bore and without any thing to do at that new place I was left with only one option that is to sleep. But that too was really tough for me as I could many people sleeping beside me but sharing only one blanket. I was at the side unfortunately and hardly got blanket to cover only half of my body. During the day I could feel the intense heat of sun and was thinking that night there would be warm comparing hare at our home in wangdue but I was wrong. The night there was so cold that one could hardly bare. Even at that tough situation I managed to sleep for few minutes and when I opened my eyes again, I could see my friend(DCM driver) sleeping behind me shivering without any blanket but after few mins one came with thin blanket and covered him, thanks to that guy whoever was he/she was.

Night turned into dawn gradually and I could see few people still dancing(so energetic). After the lunner the day before many of our friends disappeared and we all met again only in the morning. I could hear their different cold night experiences, some slept beneath the stone where there was sisnu(jotsha) and many inside the paral(rice’s dry shoots). The morning was fresh anyway where I could see many photo session in-front of the fishery pond where I could only see toads swimming. We had our breakfast then(where one of friends got two claws of chicken on his meal -very gunny) and start preparing to return back. While we were taking rest at the camp my brother brought there cartoons and cartoons of gifts which were given by the guests for the grooms and brides commanding us to carry each. We started our journey back at around 11 with goodbye tika ceremony at the main gate again. Back journey was quite sad than going as many of our members leaved us one by one as many of them were from Tsirang and at last we were left with only few of us who all could be accommodated inside the cars and no one was there to sit at the back of DCM. That was my experience and if any reader happened to read this story, I would like to say sorry deeply for making you read for long and me writing in details. I went in details as everything was new and adventures for me. Thank u for reading, again!


                                                                                        

                                                                     D.K Thulung Rai

Friday, 13 February 2015 0 comments

It was like an ice on the wound

I was really in sad mood because of my unexpected result when I got the invitation of my two cousin brothers’ beey (marriage party) at Yeshothangka (Wangdue). Two of them who were brothers bought the brides who were sisters again, quite interesting. I had no mood at all to attend such gathering at that time but my mom said that to avoid such mood, we have to attend such gathering to divert our mind. so I agreed with her and decided to go after all, they were my brothers how could I avoid their such important day of their life. The wedding was on 5th of Feb, almost a week ago.

 brides bro has to carry her on his back
tika ceremony before entering home












So I went there with my mom and my little bro for the first time in their new house which was quite far from the old one. We reached their but I was still feeling bore and since I was in diet I had nothing to eat and drink but a cup of hot water. When we reached their the sindur lagan (wedding ceremony) was about to start and that custom the way they or we the Rai and Subba have to do was quite new for me and I really enjoyed a lot. There were many protocols that a behula(groom) and behuli (bride) had to follow which was quite specific but fortunately there would be one or more elders who would command every step that has to be followed by the behula and behuli. I got to look every customs of ours and was quite terrified thinking that how would I do during my turn in futureJ.

The lunch was ready by the time and we had a lunch but it was lunner for us. And at time only one fourth of the guest had arrived. I was feeling really bore without any friends there nothing to do so I went to the main kitchen which will be outside for cooking in mass for the guest and I joined with the other cooks who all happened to be my bros and cousins. All the food items were already cooked but since the gusts were coming and going back simultaneously the work of cooks were to serve them till 9 evening warming time and again, the time which actually crossed and went on till the late night. As soon as I joined the cooks, many of them disappeared from the kitchen so me and few of them had to serve all the guests till the late night. But even though they got to drink time and again they were angry and not willing to serve further actually as the time crossed, what about me who got nothing to drink but to work with a cup of hot water but I was happy to serve others. And after few minutes the elders from the grooms side came to the kitchen to apologies the cooks with a pot of jaar(local alcohol) for letting them serve out of the given time.

elder groom & bride
groom & bride have to dance












While everyone was singing dancing and celebrating the joy, some black sheep’s start creating hassle as we expected. Silence arrived once at around 1. The lights and the music systems were dead as the elder groom came out shouting “go to your own home”. One was just their neighbour uncle who was a giant man and another was far cousin bro who was quite young. I didn’t know what actually happened between them but I saw only when that young man quickly picking up a piece of firewood to hit the other one and my bro going quickly to stop him. How could someone create such scene at ones one of the most happiest moment of their life. One should never do like that no matter what, I believe. We can show our true character in some other time, it really doesn’t look good.

I thought the night is dead and was thinking how to spend rest of the cold night but after few minutes music came to live and the people were on the track again. I watched them dancing for few minutes and went to sleep; it was almost 4 am by that time. In the morning we, around 35 of us were to go to the brides’ home as a janti(people who goes from grooms’ side to the brides home) to Dagana(changkha-salami). At morning around 10 we had our breakfast and started our journey towards Dagana with full fun singing and making fun which I didn’t do of course but enjoyed a lot watching them doing . We had three vehicles; two cars for the brides and grooms and one DCM for the janti, where we travelled actually. We went happily singing and making fun and reached at the brides’ home at around 3. It really was a happy journey as it was not a normal journey. To be cont..(what happened at the brides home)


                                                                   
                                                                       D.K Thulung Rai






Wednesday, 11 February 2015 3 comments

The marriage customs of Lhotshampa (Rai & Subba)

I attended my two brothers’ marriage ceremony recently who interestingly married the two sisters from the same family. I have had attend many marriage ceremonies in my life but never observed the customs in marriage ceremony. Few years back I attended one in my own village and got to know few things but I gained more knowledge during the brothers’ time and today I thought of sharing here in my blog. There are much more for me to learn and to see yet.











First of all there will be two kongpi(s) one from the grooms’ side and one from the brides’ side who knowing every protocols of marriage ceremony generally they will be elders. They are the main mediators between the grooms and brides family who will be taking all the responsibilities of the ceremony. Rai’s and subbas’ normally kills pig for the ceremony and the pigs head is given to the kongpi as the gratitude for mediating and taking all the responsibilities. The two kongpi(s) will talk to the grooms and brides families and fix the marriage on the specific date following the Sanskrit’s calendar (moon calendar).

The marriage ceremony take place twice, first day at the grooms’ home and ones at the brides’ home on the second day. If the brides home is far from the grooms home then bride will be brought to the grooms home few days ago but during the ceremony bride has to be taken away from the grooms homes main gate which will be taken care by few women were they will dress up the bride with the marriage costume which is sari in our case. When they are ready groom and janti (people from the grooms’ side) has to go to take her home officially. I forgot one thing there will be one boy (unmarried) can be grooms’ younger brother called lokonda from his side and one girl from the brides side which can be again brides little sis called Lokondi as a kind of assistant who ‘ll be helping groom and bride all the time. When the groom goes to take the bride from the brides place, people from the brides side will be throwing the rice(mixed with cud) on the groom and on the janti heavily and Lokonda has to protect the groom with the help of umbrella. It’s a custom and quite interesting.

The groom, bride, lokonda and lokondi will seat in a straight line for the tika ceremony were elders and their relatives will be putting tika and gives them aashribhat(blessing). After that there will be again tika ceremony at the main gate and before entering the grooms home where they will be offered sagun(can be juice) two cups but at different time, one at a time and they have to share in the same cup. For the first cup groom has to drink first and for the second cup bride has to drink first. But I heard again that at the grooms home groom will drink first and at the brides home bride has to drink first again followed by the tika ceremony.











After entering the groom’s home officially then comes the main ceremony the sindur lagan (weeding). Where groom will put sindur(red powder) on the brides mid-top of her forehead signifying that she is his wife forever from then, he will be again putting pootey(mangal sutra) on her neck. Where they have to tell from today he/she is mine J again followed by the tika ceremony and blessing by all the elders and relatives, first by the grandparents followed my parents and other close relatives.


That’s only at the groom’s home; same ceremonies will again happen at the brides’ home the day after that where there will be a mass gathering at the brides’ home the people from the brides society. One thing, during the ceremony at the grooms home, brides’ parents will be not there except her little sis as lokondi. The kongpi from the brides’ side and brides parents will fix a specific time not late then 2pm for the janti from groom’s sides to reach their home and the janti have to reach at that time or before no matter what. Because if janti reaches late at the evening the people and the guest at the brides’ home will be really suffering from the hunger and some guest might even go back without having food. The custom is that before the reach of janti and before serving to janti(groom & bride) no one can eat anything from the main kitchen, not even breakfast. Only after serving to janti, groom and bride, other people and guest can have. So if we (janti) happened to reach late than the given time then we are dead surely. They will not even let us enter their gate and home, forget about the welcome ceremony. The kongpi and brides parents will tell everything(unpleasant lines) that they can without listening to any apologies from the grooms side(kongpi). Mainly the kongpi from the grooms’ side will be dead. They will not even allow the janti to seat and we can’t seat without their command.











So the timing is really important above all but if we reach at the given time, they will treat us kindly up to their level best starting from the welcome ceremony. They will be waiting us with all the drinks at the main gate and will offer lavishly us. Even there will be tika ceremony at the main gate and after that janti will be asked to go directly to the kitchen for the lunch/dinner because the entire guest will be really in hunger without having any food starting from the morning. After that same programme as in the grooms home will be happening, singing and dancing for the whole night and day after that, again groom, bride and janti will be returning to the grooms’ home taking bride for permanently. So if you are ever thinking of marrying Rai and subba, the above things are really important to remember and may be same for all the other Lhotshampa but I believe ours is quite tough. Much more left to share maybe I can do that latter when I get into this situation(when I marry :) Want to apologize to readers it went quite long.




                                                                                          
                                                                     D.K Thulung Rai

Sunday, 8 February 2015 0 comments

Loneliness is a thing to be felt sometime

Since from my childhood I was all alone and there are many sad stories behind these which I even don’t want to recollect which still makes me sad on thinking those days. Sometimes I used to think that I may be the unluckiest child on this earth who lost his mom when he was only eight months old and father who was as good as not there. A child who couldn’t recognize his mother when he got to see her only on 8 for the first time in his life after gaining his sense. I had to face lots and lots of difficulties in my relative’s houses. I was almost like an orphan till I joined the school in 2002 which was done by my uncle and not parents and for only these, many many thanks goes to him from deep. And this is the only reason why I think myself as a lucky man. My only sister didn’t got the chance to go to the school and get the education for which she still regret and it’s all because my useless father. Being in others houses was a very difficult and I always used to remain alone but I never lost my hope to live and survived all the hazards somehow.

My happiness arrived in 2003 when I got to stay with my mother but it was only for a year after a long time and after 2005 when I got to stay with her permanently but the loneliness was still there in me. As the years passed situation grew better and better and I got used to with the loneliness and I got adapted with it. I start liking it gradually and it was only friend. I had and have hundreds of friends but never found a friend to whom I can call as my best friend. I don’t know whether something was wrong with me or what? Best friend means a lot for me who is with us in times of happiness and sorrow. Friends are with us for only few hours or few days but after that loneliness will again grape you. Even best friends leaves us one day no matter how close we are.

The best way to escape form loneliness is to love loneliness I believe. When you start liking the feeling of loneliness, you don’t feel like hang out with friends and do crazy things always. Of course we have to do that and I too feel like doing that but not always. If we always stay with friends and enjoy every day then you tend to forget the value of friendship, celebration and enjoyment. If we celebrate the occasion occasionally then only we know the value occasion. When we love loneliness we don’t need any friends to make us happy and smile always but we’ll be happy in our own ways. We’ll get time to think more and do more things for ourselves. Without friends we can’t celebrate but we can enjoy we can’t laugh always but we can smile and above all our mind will be in peace always. When we love loneliness we’ll love silence and peace and it’s a great thing to experience sometime. It’s really hard for us to love loneliness but we have to accept it sometime. Being lonely for some time gives our mind to take rest and we’ll be in peace always.

Problems arrive when we are with friends as we feel like doing many crazy things that we are not supposed to do actually. All unwanted activities like drinking abusing drugs and fighting are all accompanied by being with friends all the time. When we are with friends we get carried away in the influence of some friends and that becomes our habits gradually. And when friends are not around us that’s when we die of being alone and it really happens sometimes. So why not make loneliness itself your friend which will never betray you. Loneliness means peace and I love peace. Loving loneliness never means to neglect our friends and stop having fun. We do have to have fun with friends enjoy with them sometimes and I too do that but we should never forget that we have to depart after meeting and we’ll again remain all alone. We should never try to run away from loneliness because we can’t. The more we try to escape from it the more we feel the pain of loneliness. If you are peace lover you should never try to do that. Just stay in your own world and enjoy with what is around you that’s life for me. If we are happy with what is around us happiness will be taken care.


                                                                                                     
                                                                    D.K Thulung Rai
Wednesday, 4 February 2015 2 comments

Today

Today’s day is the most painful day for me, finally the result was out by yesterday but mine was quite unexpected. My math mark was worst as I expected but even the physics and chemistry too was worst, How come? The pressure in me is growing now. The neighbours and my friends are not happy with my marks and it is so embarrassing for me. I really would like to say them sorry but even can’t do that also. They had a very high expectation from me and I shattered their dreams too. My mom is really worried about my future and me getting of college. Yesterday I was fine but as I think more the more I get tension and worried. The calls from the relatives, friends, sisters and the questions from the neighbours.

Today morning one of neighbours P-ter just told me that he too got hope lose with my marks which made me think again and again as he was write but there is no ways for me to give him a rational explanation on that. I felt like to do the exam again. But the past is past and no one can change that fact. It’s all my fault to stay relax at the beginning and rush at the last moment, the method which is never successful. Almost all of friends’ results were just like mine but we are different. But there is no way for me to stay behind and give up here. I have to do something somehow. The ways to ex-countries are already closed for me and very few of in-country’s colleges are left for me in which I may not get too.

Don’t even feel like doing online but I have to do because there is no other way for me. I wish if this type of feeling would have had come in the beginning but there is no wise in regretting so I’m not going to. If I happened to get qualified for any of the colleges in the country then it would be because for my faith and not because of my marks. And if didn’t get in anywhere then my last option would be to do supply but it’s so sad. God help me please! This is the time when we miss our god so much. (These feelings are really new for me and I really don’t want to experience it again and will not I shapat)


                                                                                          
                                                                   D.K Thulung Rai


Expressing my own thoughts

 
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