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Showing posts from February, 2015

Lost in the dilemma

Being in the dilemma since a long time, smiles on the face but mind lost in the dark space. Trying hard to cope up with the scenario around and the situation from which I’m wishing to escape at the fastest way possible. Trying to think less as possible to bring my mind to the track and keep it in the most peaceful way possible. Trying to avoid the regrets and trying find a new way for me to step my feet safely knowing that there is no wise in regret. Waiting for the time to pass quickly and let me know where I should be standing.
My mind is hardly walking along with my body and my speech. I can feel the mass darkness in-front of me and can only see a tiny spot of light which may show me the right way. I have a great fair of losing my way in that darkness but my tiny hope is helping me to aggregate my minds to think in a positive way. At the back of head knowing that falling and waking up is the way of life helps me in consulting my lost minds. The more I think the more my mind suffers…

Trying to hide behind my own Shadow

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After a long time, had a fun in walking to high uphill lonely house where their lives only an old orphan man. The old man is quite related to our house owner. Today morning the house owner asked me to go along with him to the place as his friend and I agreed him as I go for walk every morning. The place is just three and half km upward way from our resident and known as Jasaykha(wangdue). Had a good fun after reaching there, doing the work of blacksmith and making a knife with a red hot iron and changing it into the desired shape was tough job but was a good fun as we were doing for first time. I was the man to hit the red hot iron with a 2.5 pounds hammer taking the risk to hit straight on the point and not on the colleague hands. There was a high risk that the piece of red hot iron would hit our legs after it’s detach form the main desired tools.










Again I was the given the work of cooking lunch unfortunately that also on the fire. It was really a tough job for me as there was nothin…

The Mystery-II

We came down to the main road and waited for a taxi for a long hours but found none and suddenly a truck stopped for us while we were wondering who could be that but later we found out that he was our far cousin brother who too was driving to wangdue fortunately. Mom and I quickly got into the truck and reached a place called walk-lay-tar and the truck stopped in-front of small hotel there for a lunch.
 We had a packed lunch but we too went inside to give him company. He ordered the rice there and my mom opened a packed lunch for two of us. There comes a big surprise for me, a girl came towards us carrying a plate of rice on her hand. She happened to be that girl how shocking? At one glance I identified her and I guess she too recognized me but could not look at her directly and share some words though I desired. I hardly could finish my meal and quickly came out of there and got into the truck. Mom and the driver came following me and later I found that she was asking about me to my m…

The Mystery

Almost ten years back in a remote primary school when I was studying in the second standard, a girl who used to come to the school from a far village opposite to my house happened to be my classmate. We were in the same class for almost three years but I had never noticed her until the last year of our departure. I never knew when I started liking her and when my feelings for her start germinating but when I realize myself I found myself having crush on her. For me she was the most beautiful and cute girl in the class and in the entire school.
In the ten years of distance, I still remember her face very clearly and her unique voice which I wonder is still same or might have changed but no wonder that I never thought of expressing my feelings for her not even in the dream. I don’t know why? May be I was afraid of losing her forever. For me if she was around me and making me happy with her smile and if she could talk to me without any hesitation and I too could do the same thing but if …

The first day of schooling

There are only two enthusiastic days in the students life, first one is the very first day of the school and second is the day of last exam and today was one of it for them. We as a student usually feel quite excited to go back to the school after almost two months winter break with   new uniforms, new upgraded classrooms, new class teachers and meeting old friends after a long break. The curiosity to know who came to one’s class as a new-comer, whether he/she is beautiful/smart and to know their names and previous school, to become happy if that beautiful/smart guy happened to be one’s classmate. Many boys usually tend to try the new comer girls to make his girlfriend before other could try her and same with girlsJ, I guess.
Going back to one’s school after a long break and with the thought of upgraded standard and watching new classroom’s upgraded standard sign board at the top of door and feeling proud of oneself, usually feels really awesome. Going back to see the old classrooms w…

My great success in losing my weight

This story is the continuation of my last post of Jan ‘I suddenly became health conscious’. I was really in doubt that my hard work would go in vain but deep inside I was thinking that if I managed to lose even a single pound, I would continue with my daily routine which were a simple diet, light exercise at the evening, morning walk and evening jogging. And after a month hard work it worked actually, when I weighed myself yesterday, I saw that I have lost 17 pounds 64 kg from 72 in a single month and that was a great outcome. I’m very happy with my result and now my mission is to reach 60 within these 15 days, let’s see if I can rally manage that but I believe I can and that determination is important for me. I didn’t adapt any proper diet which is quite expensive these days nor did I join any professional gym session. It all was actually my own way of losing weight with full determination. I had no idea if it would even work as I started with the jogging session lately. At the initi…

It was like an ice on the wound-II

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And there we were at Changkha(Dagana) after a long journey from wangdue. Changkha village was about 15 miles rough road from Dagana high way. We were travelling at the back of DCM and with tiredness I felt asleep and when I opened my eyes at the junction called Potokha just below Changkha were our vehicle stopped for a while for the refreshment. I hardly could recognize myself and my other friends there because starting from our head to toe we were fully covered by the dust from the rough road. I tried quickly to wave them out but it hardly worked. I thought of washing but thinking that there was still way to reach our destiny I went as I was cleaning only my face.
Finally we reached at the top of the valley called Changkha but I didn’t know why our vehicles stopped there for a while and was thinking, that would be our destiny but confused too because I couldn’t see any people around the brides house, how is that possible? While I was in deep thought, kongpi(the main leader) came down …

It was like an ice on the wound

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I was really in sad mood because of my unexpected result when I got the invitation of my two cousin brothers’ beey (marriage party) at Yeshothangka (Wangdue). Two of them who were brothers bought the brides who were sisters again, quite interesting. I had no mood at all to attend such gathering at that time but my mom said that to avoid such mood, we have to attend such gathering to divert our mind. so I agreed with her and decided to go after all, they were my brothers how could I avoid their such important day of their life. The wedding was on 5th of Feb, almost a week ago.












So I went there with my mom and my little bro for the first time in their new house which was quite far from the old one. We reached their but I was still feeling bore and since I was in diet I had nothing to eat and drink but a cup of hot water. When we reached their the sindur lagan (wedding ceremony) was about to start and that custom the way they or we the Rai and Subba have to do was quite new for me and I re…

The marriage customs of Lhotshampa (Rai & Subba)

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I attended my two brothers’ marriage ceremony recently who interestingly married the two sisters from the same family. I have had attend many marriage ceremonies in my life but never observed the customs in marriage ceremony. Few years back I attended one in my own village and got to know few things but I gained more knowledge during the brothers’ time and today I thought of sharing here in my blog. There are much more for me to learn and to see yet.










First of all there will be two kongpi(s) one from the grooms’ side and one from the brides’ side who knowing every protocols of marriage ceremony generally they will be elders. They are the main mediators between the grooms and brides family who will be taking all the responsibilities of the ceremony. Rai’s and subbas’ normally kills pig for the ceremony and the pigs head is given to the kongpi as the gratitude for mediating and taking all the responsibilities. The two kongpi(s) will talk to the grooms and brides families and fix the marri…

Loneliness is a thing to be felt sometime

Since from my childhood I was all alone and there are many sad stories behind these which I even don’t want to recollect which still makes me sad on thinking those days. Sometimes I used to think that I may be the unluckiest child on this earth who lost his mom when he was only eight months old and father who was as good as not there. A child who couldn’t recognize his mother when he got to see her only on 8 for the first time in his life after gaining his sense. I had to face lots and lots of difficulties in my relative’s houses. I was almost like an orphan till I joined the school in 2002 which was done by my uncle and not parents and for only these, many many thanks goes to him from deep. And this is the only reason why I think myself as a lucky man. My only sister didn’t got the chance to go to the school and get the education for which she still regret and it’s all because my useless father. Being in others houses was a very difficult and I always used to remain alone but I never…

Today

Today’s day is the most painful day for me, finally the result was out by yesterday but mine was quite unexpected. My math mark was worst as I expected but even the physics and chemistry too was worst, How come? The pressure in me is growing now. The neighbours and my friends are not happy with my marks and it is so embarrassing for me. I really would like to say them sorry but even can’t do that also. They had a very high expectation from me and I shattered their dreams too. My mom is really worried about my future and me getting of college. Yesterday I was fine but as I think more the more I get tension and worried. The calls from the relatives, friends, sisters and the questions from the neighbours.
Today morning one of neighbours P-ter just told me that he too got hope lose with my marks which made me think again and again as he was write but there is no ways for me to give him a rational explanation on that. I felt like to do the exam again. But the past is past and no one can cha…