Saturday, 28 February 2015

Lost in the dilemma

Being in the dilemma since a long time, smiles on the face but mind lost in the dark space. Trying hard to cope up with the scenario around and the situation from which I’m wishing to escape at the fastest way possible. Trying to think less as possible to bring my mind to the track and keep it in the most peaceful way possible. Trying to avoid the regrets and trying find a new way for me to step my feet safely knowing that there is no wise in regret. Waiting for the time to pass quickly and let me know where I should be standing.

My mind is hardly walking along with my body and my speech. I can feel the mass darkness in-front of me and can only see a tiny spot of light which may show me the right way. I have a great fair of losing my way in that darkness but my tiny hope is helping me to aggregate my minds to think in a positive way. At the back of head knowing that falling and waking up is the way of life helps me in consulting my lost minds. The more I think the more my mind suffers the hassle and bustle. Being experiencing such dilemma for the first time and having tough time to digests the truth.

Every time thinking of erasing my foot prints and walk a new path but it is not easy as I think. With my positive thoughts and right actions I’m acknowledging my failure and taking it as a lifelong lesson which my teacher would never be able explain me. I can hear many mouths talking near my ears, everyone with a different thoughts but I’m going to follow my faith and destiny. I believe that whatever I have done till the date has been written in my faith and wherever I may land, it possibly might have been written to be happened. If I ever try to blame anyone for my failure it would be my own embarrassment. There is no concrete solution coming into mind and can see only the obstacles surrounding me. If I subdue one of the obstacles with a great effort there would be another waiting for my arrival.

 I have never had been in such condition ever and never thought of going through such scenes. What is happening with me? But no matter what I’m not going to stop here in the middle of my journey. I know I have to do a lot to recover my ugly foot prints but I’m going to mend it for sure no matter how. That, one scan can’t define my true ability so easily. And no one can stop me from growing up again, my faith may have left me for once but I believe it will not happen always. With this believe I have only tiny hope which may give me the hand to wake up again. I have to belief in my faith and walk along with it. Knowing that the whole world is only standing on the hope, I’m not going to stop hopping and just going to wait and watch.


                                                                                            
                                                            D.K Thulung Rai

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