It was like an ice on the wound-II

And there we were at Changkha(Dagana) after a long journey from wangdue. Changkha village was about 15 miles rough road from Dagana high way. We were travelling at the back of DCM and with tiredness I felt asleep and when I opened my eyes at the junction called Potokha just below Changkha were our vehicle stopped for a while for the refreshment. I hardly could recognize myself and my other friends there because starting from our head to toe we were fully covered by the dust from the rough road. I tried quickly to wave them out but it hardly worked. I thought of washing but thinking that there was still way to reach our destiny I went as I was cleaning only my face.

tika session at the brides uncle's home
grooms & brides with NC of Dagana
Finally we reached at the top of the valley called Changkha but I didn’t know why our vehicles stopped there for a while and was thinking, that would be our destiny but confused too because I couldn’t see any people around the brides house, how is that possible? While I was in deep thought, kongpi(the main leader) came down saying, “get down all we have to go there” but many didn’t listened to his command but I got down quickly to find out what was happening there actually. But didn’t get any hint and could see only the tika ceremony there in-front of the house(it was brides uncles home actually) but I latter I found that it’s called bato-chekwa(to restrict the way for a while, was like entry pass for us to the brides home). After that we continued our journey again while I was still wondering where might be the brides’ home actually and after a mile travel, again the cars stopped but I couldn’t see any houses around there. But then they started to take out the things from the cars and start steeping downwards where we had to walk for around 15 mins to reach the actual destiny which made me feel as if I was walking to my village.

birdes with their sis in-laws
gathering at the brides home

After a long wonder there we were, the brides’ home was at the bottom of the valley and I could see many people watching us up with curiosity and happiness on their face. At the main gate we were to take rest for a while, where there was again a tika ceremony form the brides’ parents while few gentle came to us with a pot full of jar(local alcohol) and cups and a big smiles on their faces as few of them happened to be our friends from wangdue too. I thought of denying them once as I don’t drink usually but the situation there didn’t allow me to deny their welcome jar, so I quickly seeped few cups before my sisters and brothers could noticed meJ , so that I can withstand the cold night there at the unknown place but latter I found out that they saw me drinking actually, so embarrassingL. After the tika ceremony we were asked to go the main kitchen directly as all the guests were waiting for our(janti’s) arrival form the morning itself without having even breakfast(it’s a custom).

We have had lunner with all the other guests there and came back to the small camp in-front of the house which were especially meant for janti(people from the grooms’ side-us). I could see people dancing in two different places, one group from the tape and other group from the local music system and some people walking from the middle without any proper coordination which made us feel really bore. Few steps behind there was a camp fire again and some guests were engaged there too. I also enjoyed the warmth frequently as we(with grooms and brides) had been waiting outside for a long time in the cold night and I didn’t know what was going inside the house actually which made grooms and brides(there were two grooms and two brides) to wait outside for so long till the late night(10 or 11 pm). We were quite frustrated with the brides’ parents. It was fine for us(janti) but they could have called the grooms and brides inside as soon as possible as they were the king and queen for the day. We didn’t know what really wrong was going inside though we reached at the given time.

        grooms & their sisters
the way back to own home

While I was in deep thought I didn’t know when they called them inside or not. People were dancing in-front of us with full mood and without any proper steps(same steps for all kinds of songs but they were in full joy) which made us feel bore and without any thing to do at that new place I was left with only one option that is to sleep. But that too was really tough for me as I could many people sleeping beside me but sharing only one blanket. I was at the side unfortunately and hardly got blanket to cover only half of my body. During the day I could feel the intense heat of sun and was thinking that night there would be warm comparing hare at our home in wangdue but I was wrong. The night there was so cold that one could hardly bare. Even at that tough situation I managed to sleep for few minutes and when I opened my eyes again, I could see my friend(DCM driver) sleeping behind me shivering without any blanket but after few mins one came with thin blanket and covered him, thanks to that guy whoever was he/she was.

Night turned into dawn gradually and I could see few people still dancing(so energetic). After the lunner the day before many of our friends disappeared and we all met again only in the morning. I could hear their different cold night experiences, some slept beneath the stone where there was sisnu(jotsha) and many inside the paral(rice’s dry shoots). The morning was fresh anyway where I could see many photo session in-front of the fishery pond where I could only see toads swimming. We had our breakfast then(where one of friends got two claws of chicken on his meal -very gunny) and start preparing to return back. While we were taking rest at the camp my brother brought there cartoons and cartoons of gifts which were given by the guests for the grooms and brides commanding us to carry each. We started our journey back at around 11 with goodbye tika ceremony at the main gate again. Back journey was quite sad than going as many of our members leaved us one by one as many of them were from Tsirang and at last we were left with only few of us who all could be accommodated inside the cars and no one was there to sit at the back of DCM. That was my experience and if any reader happened to read this story, I would like to say sorry deeply for making you read for long and me writing in details. I went in details as everything was new and adventures for me. Thank u for reading, again!


                                                                     D.K Thulung Rai


  1. thank u sangay,,! for a look at least. that determines me actually. ll be expecting same respond again.


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